"When Love Looks Differently Than You Expect"- Part 2

And we're back!! I love, love to encourage you ladies to wait and believe for God's best. You were made for intimate relationship. First with the One who knows you best--God. And in keeping with the theme of this blog, I believe that you were also made to have a special and unique relationship with the man that God has been preparing you for.

You haven't come to this blog by accident. No matter how despondent you may feel towards marriage, I'm here to tell you that it will be a glorious gift for you. You have not been forgotten about! And it's never too late for your romance story to begin!

As you wait for the gift of your marriage to arrive, continue to enjoy life in the now and prepare you heart for the good, good loving to come. But don't forget to lavish in the good, good love that you have in your life at this very moment.

For those of you that have chosen to wait and not get caught up in a lot of relationship drama in the goal of preserving your heart's affection for the real deal, what I can tell you, is that it will be so good that you won't have a lot of drama and baggage to bring into your new love story. And if you do have baggage, let today be the day your healing journey begins.

I was recently chatting with a beautiful sweet lady friend of mine the other day, and she shared how shocked a particular male friend of hers was that she didn't have a lot of drama and baggage like most ladies he'd seen or dated. And her wonderful and bold reply to him was, "Yeah. I have my stuff together."

I absolutely love that. She wasn't saying that she didn't want a man in her life, but she was saying that she so welcomes the presence of a good man in her life that she doesn't want to waste time hashing out tons of baggage and drama issues with him, but wants to spend more time enjoying his company and the love that's being fostered in romance, when that relationship comes.

As you already know, one of my favorite things to do in life is to pray for future marriages. And to encourage ladies that are on the journey of waiting to be married, whether they are single or in a dating relationship, but especially if they are over the age of 30.

I myself, being 32, am waiting for my own love story to unfold, but I have been encouraged this year like never before that my own love story has not been forgotten about by God. No. Nothing dramatic has happened just yet. Believe me, I would have let you know! But I do look forward to the day I become a "Savvy Sonsie Bride" and have the privilege of sharing those photos with you ;)

With that said, if you desire prayer and encouragement regarding your own love story. Feel free to shoot me an email message: thesavvysonsiebride@gmail.com I'd love nothing more than to pray for you and with you on this journey!

We now resume the wonderful love story of Mercedes and Herbie. And how God orchestrated something so bold, so new, and of course...so unexpected...

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What is the very first thing a bride-to-be should tackle in planning her wedding?

"Why are you getting married?" If you cannot honestly answer that question or if you don't want to reflect on the answer, stop planning. The next thing to tackle would be Godly counsel from people who can be trusted to speak into the lives of the bride and groom. Next would be lots of prayer. I am not being pat. Pray over the details, invite God into the planning. You would be thoroughly amazed in the ways that God shows up in these just very beautiful, intimate ways. From the caterer to the photographer, he is more than pleased to delight you in the small ways that he consistently shows up.

Who were you top 3 favorite Vendors (Photographers, Catering, Location, etc.) of your wedding day?

I wanted something very simple and intimate. My best friend is an event/wedding planner and I still had all my original stuff from when the first wedding date had been cancelled. (chuckles) I didn't have to do anything but pull stuff out the basement and closet. We got married in my aunt's backyard, which was fitting since her prophetic dreams had played into the big day. 

What was your favorite part of your wedding day?

The simplicity of it all. I had asked God to put together the day as he saw fit and he did. It was lovely but in a very simplistic way. It made me think that we make these weddings into something I don't know they were intended to be. There weren't a bunch of strangers and long lost friends surrounding us, but people who really walked with us closely in our lives. It was about two people taking vows before God and family. Nothing was missing. What could be more beautiful than that? It was just so reassuring. 

What are 3 key things to remember for a bride approaching her own wedding day?

You will get nervous. You will self-doubt over details, yourself, your mate, your in-laws, you name it- but somewhere in all of that is a chance for you to exercise some faith and trust, that God has you, that you aren't big enough to mess up his plans and everything will fall in place as it should. Remember that. Relax into that mindset. Appoint somebody to remind of you of that.

What can women do that are in "waiting" for God's best? What are some practical things they can walk out?

One thing that was really helpful to me was posting scripture on my bedroom wall and closet door. I rephrased the scripture so that it spoke directly to me every morning. I posted this, "Being single means I am called to an extraordinary purpose. It means I can serve God without distraction." That helped me on the days that I felt lonely. It helped me on the days when I was tempted to believe the enemy's lies, that I was unattractive, forgotten etc etc. It also gave me joy, that there was more to life than sitting up waiting for some man. That God had plans for the day and we had things to do and places to be, it made it so adventuresome. 

I also had deliberate dates with the lover of my soul. I dressed up as I would for a suitor. From perfume to manicured toes. It may sound ridiculous but it works. I learned that if I could not serve, respond, entreat the lover of my soul; then I really couldn't expect to do those things for a mate. God is first. He really does want and desire relationships with his children where we seek him as the giver and not just his gifts. The gifts are like side dishes, but Jesus? He is the whole enchilada!

And lastly, from your heart, what do you want to say to all of those amazing ladies in waiting?

Trust him. Spend some time reflecting over your relationships with others. Are there places that are still hurting, hidden and undisclosed? How do you react in a moment of fear, anger, disappointment? These questions lead you to places that you will have to go, if you desire a healthy relationship with a life partner. Week one of the marriage is probably not the place for them to come toppling down and unfold. Do the work. People just slap the scripture around, "He that finds a wife, finds a good thing." But we overlook that the husband found a wife. Meaning she was already equipped in that vocation AND she was a good thing. The two go together. Instead of concentrating on being found or being a wife. Ask God to shape you into a good thing. You won't be disappointed at all.

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Thank you Mercedes, for encouraging us and sharing your beautiful and divinely orchestrated love and wedding story! May God continue to bless your amazing marriage! xox

A New Love Story! "When Love Looks Differently Than You Expect" - Part 1

It's with great delight that I share a new love story! I want to thank Mercedes Miller for being so transparent and vulnerable with us. As you read this story, quiet your heart and simply listen. Some of what Mercedes speaks of, you may feel is only for those spiritual heavy weights. But believe me it's not. I believe there's something distinct in her love story just for you.

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I'd love for you to briefly share your journey of romance before you got married. And how old you were when you were married.

I was 33 years old when I got married. 

Three years before I ever met Herbie, my aunt told me about a dream she had. In the dream a man of mixed heritage was in pursuit of me and we were seated in a booth that had red leather. According to my aunt, the man proclaimed that he wanted me and my two children. 

Three years later, after a friend's insistence that I join her out for an evening of karaoke, I was seated in a booth that had red leather seats and here was this African-American/Puerto Rican man approaching me. I remember thinking he was just very sweet and tender. We were introduced, or rather re-acquainted, as it turned out that he was the neighbor who lived across the street and up three houses. I had no idea that he had a crush on me. We danced the rest of the night and I guess you would say the rest is history, but it was a very complicated history...

What drew you to your husband? And how did you know you wanted to spend the rest of your life with him?

I did not know I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. In fact quite the opposite was true. 

He was not a Believer and I was doing a cat and mouse dance with Jesus. One foot in, one foot out... I just was not trusting of God at this point in my life. Within three months of meeting Herbie, I discovered I was pregnant. The same aunt who had prophetically told me about this man, also forewarned me about the pregnancy with the admanant rebuke that I not "do anything with the baby". 

I was very scarred from my first marriage, which had been incredibly violent and the result of my direct disobedience to God. I had two young daughters to care for, with another baby on the way and I just was not sure about this new man. Out of sheer obedience and faith, I carried the pregnancy to term and we forged a family. Yet, I was hidden, withdrawn and very skeptical on the inside. On the outside, it seemed all good. 

We made wedding plans for September 12, 2008. I kept pushing for the wedding because I did not want to live in sin, not because of an overwhelming love or desire to spend the rest of my life with anyone. 

However, none of the plans would come through. Herbie's nephew died the week we were due to get married, which spiraled him into a deep depression. His nephew had been one of four surviving members of a car accident that orignially resulted in Herbie losing his mother, two cousins and an uncle. The loss of his nephew just reopened that wound of loss and I did not know how to reach him. 

I was in survival mode myself. The one thing I did hear clearly, was God telling me to call off the wedding. It was the very thing I did NOT do the first time I was to get married. I thought, "Oh boy. Here we go again Jesus." But, I clearly felt God asking me --was I going to repeat the same sin again? All I had was my broken life as an answer-- No. 

I sent text messages to family and friends, called everything off.  Moved out of the house we shared and found myself homeless, taking finals at the end of winter, while my 3 daughters and I shared a motel room. Over a very stoic year of rebuilding my life, Herbie and I were able to form a friendship based on our mutual interest, daughter number 3. 

Since, I was not interested in a relationship with him, it made it easier to relax, to be myself, to share my God and be forward about the primary relationship in my life. 

From time to time, Herbie would mention how he wanted to marry me, and I would just think, "this dude obviously does not get it." At one point, God had given me a beautiful picture of this brown woman, full of laughter and love. She was a helper to Herbie. I shared this vision with him. I told him, "Herb, God has an amazing woman for you and I am going to pray her into your life." 

He just looked at me so dumbfounded and replied, "How do you know you aren't the brown girl?" 

Again I just thought, this guy is nuts! He doesn't get it! But it was a 3 year journey, for me to get it. Herbie asked me to marry him 3 times. Each time it was in the early part of Fall. Each time I told him no. I just did not believe he was what God had for me. 

I now realize that God was wooing me, healing me, allowing me to walk in singleness in a way I had never done before. When Herbie proposed again in 2011. I knew that God was saying this is what I have for you. It was the first time I had opened up and really allowed myself to confess how much I did love Herbie. 

I remember God asking me, "At what point did you know you loved me?" My thoughtful response was, "after the break-up with Herbie, when you moved me from the motels to a nice home. I could really trust you because you answered that question and fear of abandonment." 

Then the Holy Spirit asked me, "and when did you know Herbie loved you?" And I remembered just the clear picture of being pregnant and Herbie tied my shoes because I couldn't reach them and it was this act of tenderness that I never experienced from the father of my other two children. 

And then, the last question. "At what point did you close off to Herbie?" It was the day my youngest daughter had ran up to Herbie's car when we were dating. It reminded me of the way she greeted her father and without saying a word to anyone else, I determined we would not be hurt like that again. 

However it wasn't a "we" situation, it was really "me". I had a heart issue and it took God 3years of careful and deliberate refining to prepare me for what he had in store all along. He literally preserved our wedding date for 3 years. Putting everything in place so that when we entered the covenant, it would be with a surety and commitment for all time. I could not and should not have married that man before September 26, 2011.

Did you feel pressure from family or society, to marry earlier in your life? If so, how did you deal with the pressure?

I don't know that I felt pressure from others to get married. What I did feel was an obsession with other people's opinions about me personally. I did not like the stigma of being a single, african-american woman with children. It made me feel shameful and embarassed. 

Even when Herbie and I reunited, I was feeling anxiety about what other people would think or say. I had to disconnect myself from my girlfriends and spend a time of prayer and intercession with God. I wanted to make sure I was doing his will and not my own and I had to lay down my esteem for man. It was another level of trust between me and my heavenly father.

Have you always had the desire to get married? Why or Why not?

I never envisioned or had romantic notions of marriage in that sense. It was a matter of fact thing for me. Either it is or it isn't. I didn't realize that my hardened attitude towards marriage was the result of my own broken and damaged heart. 

When I started visualizing me and Herbie 20, 30, 40 years down the road, it both scared and excited me. For so long, I hadn't allowed myself those kinds of dreams. Today, I am just amazed at the certainty of God's plans and I am enjoying marriage very much. I never thought it could be this way.

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Stay Tuned for the last section of this story series: 
"When Love Looks Differently Than You Expect"- Part 2!

Inspiration

     I've been spending countless hours on Pinterest. It's definitely my current addiction. If you don't know what Pinterest is, it's basically "Fantasy Football for Ladies". You'll understand that statement once you visit the site. Here's a link to my Pinterest page, just to give you an idea of what you're in for.

     But what I've gathered most about my time on Pinterest is that it functions much like an "Inspiration/Vision Board". You know, showing the things you'd like to accomplish most in your lifetime.

     It does something to the soul to see images that inspire you and affirm your character, personality, and destiny in some way shape or form. That's the power of images.

     With that said, before we go into our next love story of a bride over the age of 30. I wanted to simply show pictures of such brides, to help give us all that boost of inspiration and encouragement that we need.

     In about a week, I'll be 32. And yes, I'm still VERY encouraged about marriage and how God will orchestrate my own divine romance. And I'm also encouraged for you. The fact that you are reading a blog like this shows that your heart hasn't given up on love either. Into the adventure we go!

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This lovely bride was 35 when she walked down the aisle.

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This bride was 31 when she planted that kiss on her groom.

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This beaming bride was 36 when she got married.

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This graceful looking bride was 35 when she walked down the aisle.

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This beautiful bride was 32.

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This joyful bride was 47.

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This chic bride was 37.

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This delightful bride was 32.

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This glowing bride was 34. With her handsome groom being 28.

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She became his wife at the age 36. To read their story, click here.

(Photo Credit: Nathan Russell Photography)

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Happy Dreaming, Future Brides!

Additional Photo Credits: Weddingbee.com
If you're one of the brides in these pictures, we'd like to hear your wedding story!

Part 5 - The Wait Is Worth It

     Back in February of this year, Shannessy wrote this to me:

     Patrice,  I just can't accentuate enough... waiting for His best... man, I read all the books, but to EXPERIENCE it for real... it truly DOES exist.  Not like the movies, but the fairy tale of real life is EVEN BETTER when you put together 2 people the Lord designed to be together, who both have open, teachable hearts and are willing and excited to journey into the wild, wild world of earthly FOREVER-NESS.   

WAIT ;) 

     I feel like some of you ladies, especially over the age of 30, needed to hear that bit of encouragement.

     It's been lovely to share Shannessy's exuberance and passion for God and life through her love story, this past year. I know that it is her heart as well as mine to see God bring you into a tailored made romance as well!

     Thank you, Shannessy for taking the time to share with us and may you continue to experience wedded bliss! And now I hear there's a precious baby on the way! AHHH!! Such a blessing!!

     If you've missed any part of Shannessy's love story, go here: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, and Part 4

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     And here we go ladies, the last part of Shannessy's story series. Enjoy!

     My final question to Shannessy is in bold while Shannessy's honest answer is in italics.

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     And lastly, from your heart, what do you want to say to all of those amazing ladies in

waiting?

     Just do it. WAIT. I had pressure all the time, people would remind me my clock is ticking and I should quit being too picky. That my looks would fade; and they told me that I would never find a man who had never been married or who didn’t have kids… and to think that he would be a man who followed the Lord completely? Yes, they ALL thought I was out of my mind. But I KNEW.

     God wouldn’t let me down. And as I stood on that altar 10.16.10 at 4-ish in the afternoon, I was in HEAVEN… no fears, no cold feet, just BLISS. My waiting had brought HIM.

     Girls, God WILL bring you your man. He really, really will! Now, stay close to God and He will do what He needs to do in you to get you ready. I had to do a little counseling and seek healing to really let Shane into my heart; I made a CHOICE because I didn’t want to let this one get away. I sought counsel from older and wiser women.

     Just WAIT dear hearts. That is the best and most simple advice I can give. And as one who waited until age 36, I feel I have some authority. Godly men are out there. 

     Just BELIEVE.

Part 4 - The Wait Is Worth It

     It's amazing how quickly time passes! I've been devoting a great deal of time to my personal blog: Puerility Vol. 1 and other professional ventures. But I have not forgotten about you dear readers! Thank you for your patience!

     Without further ado, here is Part 4 of Shannessy's amazing love story!

     But let's not forget some backstory: 

     I had the pleasure of meeting Shannessy, years ago in Southern California while she was still single. To this day, I'm so honored that our paths crossed, if even for a short time. Her romance story stirs excitement and dreams within me. I hope it will do the same for you!  


     My questions to Shannessy are in bold, while Shannessy's beautifully honest answers are in italics.



1. What are 3 key things to remember for a bride approaching her own wedding day?

      1. Take a break about halfway through the planning and get away with your man. No wedding talk, NOTHING. Just be together. BE. Return to why your are marrying this person. Shut off the phone, shut down the computer, and get away ;)


      2. Do your best to ‘let go and let God’. His plans for your special day are better than yours. No use fretting when something you want doesn’t work out. It means He has something better. Have a positive friend who will help you see the bright side, remind you of this fact, yet comfort you at the same time in your disappointment.


      3. Stay connected with your friends. It is a busy time but don’t seclude yourself too much. Enjoy the excitement of the engagement season as you can’t get it back and it flies by FAST! Others want to celebrate and be excited with you too!

2. What can women do that are in "waiting" for God's best? What are some practical things they
can walk out?

      Remember that it’s not in your control. As I mentioned before, I did EVERYTHING I could to ‘make’ God bring me a husband. Fast, pray, drink wine/eat chocolate and cry and get mad… I fully remember the moment when I realized there was NOTHING I could do… standing in front of a mirror on my 35th birthday in 2009… it hit me like a ton of bricks… He gently spoke to my heart… I had to surrender in that moment fully knowing there was NOTHING I could do to bring that husband forth. I knew it in my head, but my heart and will refused to give in to that reality. It made me sad, yet brought me such great peace. And what do you know? A few months later I met Shane…

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     Part 5 of Shannessy's love story, which is also the conclusion of her featured love story, along with her special words of encouragement to you readers will be coming soon! Yes, yes, I know. "Soon" may be a bit relative, but I assure it will be coming :)

Love You!

Part 3 - The Wait Is Worth It

      

     Welcome to our blog site! This is a place for you to bask in the beauty of romance, the miracle of a man and woman finding one another in what may seem to be a neverending lonely world. 

      For a moment, put away your cynicsm and your doubts about marriage and romance. And allow yourself to dream, not just for everyone else, but for yourself. Yes, I believe there is a distinct and beautiful romance that is being planned in heaven just for you.

     If you're brand new to our blog, I recommend you reading "Parts 1 and 2" to be completely caught up.  As I mentioned, in the previous posts, I had the pleasure of meeting Shannessy, years ago in Southern California while she was still single. To this day, I'm so honored that our paths crossed, if even for a short time. Her romance story evokes hope within me, and I hope it does the same for you!

     My questions to Shannessy are in bold, while Shannessy's beautifully honest answers are in italics.

    And now, I present to you "Part 3" in our series:

"The Wait Is Worth It"

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      What is the very first thing a bride-to-be should tackle in planning her wedding?

     Ask for help. ;) BTW, I HIGHLY recommend every couple KNOW and have worked through any kinks prior to engagement. When the planning begins, there is little time, or patience to deal with heart issues that could have been addressed earlier. Christians seem to get married FAST –ours in 3 months – and that entire time is WEDDING PLANNING FILLED. And I loved it. ;) But for sure didn’t want it to last one day longer!

     Technical details; church and reception venue first, this is how we determined our date since we didn’t care when (except SOON). I also have a friend who is a wedding planner so I hired her for a very inexpensive rate. If you can swing it, I HIGHLY recommend it. My mom and sisters were unable to offer much help and it takes a very special friend to give of time and emotional energy to help you. If you hire someone who is reliable and responsible it takes a lot of the pressure off.

     Who were you top 3 favorite Vendors (Photographers, Catering, Location, etc.) of your wedding day?

     1. The wedding planner. Even if you don’t hire a planner to actually help you PLAN the wedding, at the very least hiring someone to take care of the details of the day is PRICELESS. Then you can simply enjoy the day – and so can your family and friends. She was hands-down worth her weight in gold. Doing the finishing touches of decorating, making sure everyone was doing what they were supposed to do, keeping in contact with all the vendors, making sure I was stress-less. Because of her, I could fully enjoy the whole day. ;)

     2. Videographer – I almost didn’t hire one due to budget but after so many women said they watch their video more than look at the photos, I did it. I just hired a less expensive photographer. He did an amazing job and our day is now permanently on film. To be able watch something that was such an emotional blur later is a wonderful thing. We still cry when we watch it!

     3. Reception hall – beautiful location, great staff, great view – we loved the woman we worked with… the decorations were AMAZING, a gift from God. A friend of a friend knew some rich people whose daughter was recently married; they let us borrow amazing things and wouldn’t take a penny. ;) I felt like a princess ;)

     What was your favorite part of your wedding day?

     Marrying the man of my dreams. Our first moment… (we took pics beforehand to avoid any stress after our vows were taken. Therefore earlier in the day I walked down the aisle to him and him alone. ;)… and of course, that LONG AWAITED FIRST KISS! I can tell you that was honestly the best and most exciting day of my life. ;)

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     Shannessy! We love hearing about the details of your romance story and wedding.

     Keep a look out for Part 4 of Shannessy and Shane's beautiful romance story. There's only 2 more parts left! 

     And then, after concluding our series with Shannessy, I get to introduce you to a few more brides and their amazing journeys in love. I can't wait!

     Until we meet again. Be blessed and encouraged. You are already loved greatly. And you are in our prayers!

Part 2 - The Wait Is Worth It

      I've missed you! Love has been working steadily in my life. And I know that you are on your way to being ready for love as well. 


     If you're a brand new reader of this blog, I recommend you reading "Part 1" to be completely in the loop. As I mentioned, in the previous post, I had the pleasure of meeting Shannessy in Southern California while she was still single. Little did I know, that just a few years later, God would surprise her with the ultimate romance story!


     My questions to Shannessy are in bold, while Shannessy's beautifully honest answers are in italics.


     Without further ado, I present to you "Part 2" in our series:

"The Wait Is Worth It".

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     Did you feel pressure from family or society, to marry earlier in your life? If so, how did you deal with the pressure?

     UGH- YES!!!! ALL THE FRIGGING TIME! You know, grace is what got me through. And a whole lotta FAITH. Although I had those moments where I definitely cried and wondered and was a bit mad with God. ;) I dealt with the pressure through prayer, Scripture – and – well, occasionally fasting/praying for my husband. Yes, a bit performance-based – but God gave me the grace to do it. There was a group of us that fasted/prayed for one week for the Lord to bring us our husbands in May 2008. All but 1 of us are now married… ;)

     Have you always had the desire to get married? Why or Why not?

     Yes – and no. Before Christ I was SCARED SCARED SCARED of getting married. It seemed like a huge commitment; I saw it as a piece of paper and expensive party. After becoming a Christian and going through healing, I came to see how BEAUTIFUL marriage is. Seriously, I can’t believe how great it is. The devil sure had me fooled for a LONG time. When you wait for God’s best it is just – PERFECT – with all its imperfections :) I married a man with a servant’s heart and because he submits to God and purposes in his heart to love me the way Christ loves the church, even the challenging times are good ;)

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     Don't you just love Shannessy's realness! I feel a second wind of inspiration as I wait for my own God appointed romance story.

     Part 3 will be coming soon! So far, we've talked about the wonderful details of God's romance story with Shannessy. Next we will hear from Shannessy about her wedding season. We will learn how to keep our wits about us, while trying to plan a wedding and at the same time enjoying the season of love that we inherit.

     Until the next time. Your future romance story will be in our prayers!

Part 1 - The Wait Is Worth It

     

      Happy Valentine's Day!! It's about 11 PM, on the West Coast. Only one hour left of Valentine's Day.

    Although Valentine's Day may be over in your neck of the woods, or you may simply feel as though Valentine's Day is a commercialized, "Hallmark" created holiday,  nevertheless, there's always time to celebrate love.

     As promised, we are now beginning our 5-part series titled...

The Wait Is Worth It

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     I had the pleasure of meeting Shannessy, years ago, face to face as she was on an amazing God journey that brought her to California for a short period of time. Little did I know, how I would be inspired by her romance journey years later.

     I'm happy to share with you part one of this series:

1. Hi Shannessy,  I'd love for you to briefly share your journey of romance before you got married:
     

     First off, I will start with my personal romance background (I find it important to who I am and why we dated the way we did…)

     I didn't become a Christian until age 30; so prior to my transformation, I was SUCH a worldly girl. I did it the way everyone else did, that’s all I knew. I had many boyfriends, usually long term. Except for the time I dated 5 men at once. Bad idea; I was a busy girl- but at the time I felt cool! ;) In all my long term relationships we had sex… I didn’t ‘sleep around’ by any means, but if I found myself with a ‘keeper’ we definitely slept together. I didn’t know any different; I didn’t know God’s ways.

     Therefore, I followed the world and what everyone else did. If we ‘loved’ each other, it was okay. But it never was. I knew deep down something was wrong. Therefore I learned from an early age (eh hem, 16) that sex=love, love=sex. SO WRONG!

     I had an encounter with God shortly after age 30 that transformed me IMMEDIATELY. After this, I quit dating altogether to focus on Jesus. I had waited 30 years for the answer to LIFE, and after I found it, I had a lot of catching up to do. I went on a ‘man fast’ for a couple of years to focus on the Lord, and after that was over, God still kept me veiled. I went on a handful of Christian ‘dates’while waiting for Shane… but I was soooooooooo picky… waiting for God’s best for me.

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      I first met Shane through a mutual friend at a young adult worship service about 2 years before we started dating. I don’t remember it, he does. ;) God was still working in him (and me, but

especially him).

     A couple of years later after his own encounter with the Lord, (although Shane had given his life to Christ in Junior High, he backslid in college. God grabbed ahold of him mightily during the time period between when we were first introduced and this next segment).

     Shane joined a men’s Bible study in which my male 30-something single friends had started. They began asking Shane along to our social events, and within a couple of months we had crushes on each other. Alas, God was about to send me out on an adventure (a 3-month cross country journey) so our contact was mainly via telephone. HOURS of conversations. After those 3 months, God decided to bring me home to Iowa. Shane flew out to Maryland to drive back with me. Our first date was a 5-day road trip. ;)

     Both living in the same town, we began dating. I had many fears, especially commitment, and God lovingly brought me an AMAZING female mentor who also happened to be an intimacy counselor. PERFECTO! While dating Shane I also was able to get to the root of so many issues in my heart since childhood that stopped me from fully letting go and giving my heart to another.  God’s lovingkindness… coupled together with a patient man…

     Patrice, our first kiss was on our wedding day. We made that choice early on in our relationship – because we felt the Lord ask us to WAIT. We had both been sexually active before God got ahold of us; we had both repented and changed our ways. However, we knew firsthand what a slippery slope it is to head down a path of a physical relationship – even kissing… In fact, I hadn’t kissed a man in 6 years until Shane. ;) REDEMPTION! And I have to tell you, although I know it’s not the right path for everyone, it was the most awesome (and CHALLENGING) path for us. That first kiss on the altar was – UTTERLY AMAZING.

     If God gives you the grace, I highly recommend it ;) Most people thought we were crazy but I think we touched heaven in that moment. 

2. What drew you to your husband? And how did you know you wanted to spend the rest of your
life with him?

     Shane is soooooooo fun-loving, laid back, and his chivalry! Oh my! I am losing all my muscle tone because I never get to open doors anymore! ;) I LOVE IT! Shane, from day one, made me feel special and cherished. One of the first things I noticed about him was his generous heart, always ready to give, whether it be money, time, tears, prayer… doesn’t matter, he will GIVE with joy. And his hugs ROCKED my world!

     The next part is simple and yet so complex. I will say, you do JUST KNOW. I was soooooo independent, and loved to do things on my own – whether it be travel, work out, lounging – you name it. I was perfectly happy. But when Shane entered my life, I didn’t want to do ANYTHING without him. It just wasn’t fun anymore. He was my BEST FRIEND. That had NEVER happened to me in a relationship; not even with my best female friends. I knew in my core I couldn’t do life without this man by my side. Here he finally was, my counterpart. ;)

     Now, the fun part. I told you I was scared and a commitment-phobe, right? So of course I put LOTS of prayer into this relationship. About 2 months into dating we went on a silent retreat together. I brought watercolors, pastels, and paper. Prophetic art was to be my journaling for the weekend… what came out was a very special design (you have to see it, can’t explain it) and when I asked God what it meant, he spoke straight to my heart and said that Shane was my husband. Gulp. Scared, I kept it to myself and dated the back of the paper. Didn’t tell anyone and hid it away – even managed to forget about it after many months. (yes, even when God speaks clearly we still hide from it at times, and doubt, don’t we? J) Fast forward to us getting engaged in July, wanting to get married within 3 months, and having some challenge finding an open church and reception venue on the same date. One day, I found out the church I loved had only one open date and a venue we could afford had the same date- 10/16. It appeared we had our date! I was walking down the stairs and said to God “Why October 16? That’s interesting!” He told me to dig out that watercolor – I did – and as it turned out our wedding date was EXACTLY one year after God told me Shane was my husband. ;) Sweet confirmation, eh?

He didn’t have to do that! ;)

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     That was only Part 1! Can you believe all the incredible details?? I'm definitely looking forward to sharing more of Shannessy's romance journey with you all. And for all you ladies in waiting, you are in our prayers. Until the next time...

Stay Tuned, for Part 2...When Shannessy tackles my next question...

3. Did you feel pressure from family or society, to marry earlier in your life? If so, how did you deal with the pressure?...

New Series!!

   

     I'm excited to share with you some of the new happenings regarding this blog in 2011.

     On Valentine's Day, 2011, I'll be starting a 5-part series on a special bride's story. This unique bride beautifully shared her romance journey with me in detail. I was so moved and encouraged by her love story, that while reading it, I began to weep.

     And now, she's allowing me to share it with all of you.

     Specifically for you, my blog readers, she's taken the time to answer some of my heartfelt questions regarding her relationship, her season of waiting, and her wedding day itself.  In the weeks to come, you'll see that this new bride answered my questions with boldness and honesty.

     So spread the word!

     I hope you'll join me on Valentines' Day, to read Part 1 of... 

"The Wait Is Worth It"

 

Hey You! Mail Order Bride!

The search continues for beautiful, smart, curvy brides over 30. It's funny, anytime I Google the words "Bride" and "30 years old", I immediately get sent to some "Mail Order Bride" website. Really?

Therefore, I'm determined more than ever to bring you relevant stories and photos of women walking into their divine romance after wrestling through their fun, wild, contemplative and often difficult, yet purposeful twenties.

And to you lovely women waiting and expecting to be a bride, and have watched all but two of your friends get married, starred in five weddings, and have given more wedding speeches than are allowed in a lifetime--you've come to the right place.

I found a gem of a couple tonight:  Mandy & Joe

Here's an excerpt from, written by Mandy, on their site:

"After turning 30, I didn't really think I was going to have much hope in getting married, okay well maybe not much hope in having a wedding that I at least semi-envisioned.  Crazy thought, I know.  But my self-confidence was a little tarnished and I was content with just spending my days with my best friend with or without the fancy wedding.  But my hopes were raised when Joe and I decided to go ahead and plan the wedding we always wanted, despite our parents attempts to discourage the idea." 


You can read more about this beautiful bride's story here.

______________

Now my next question, to you ladies is...where do you begin with planning a wedding? What's the absolute first step a bride-to-be should take? We'll explore this topic in the next blog.

You Might Be Getting Married After All...

     I almost gave this blog site up last week. After days and days of searching for beautiful brides over the age of 30, I found myself stuck. I couldn't find intriguing stories, and no one seemed willing to help with any leads. How would I maintain a site on brides over 30,  if I could only find 5 brides that embraced that description?? But low and behold, right when I wanted to toss in the towel, I came upon this lovely couple...

Bride: Natasha Green (Wedding Age: 35)

Groom: Kevin Reynolds (Wedding Age: 37)

     "Simple & Sweet: Many women already have their wedding dress, their bridesmaid dresses, their ceremony and reception venues selected before they even get a proposal. However, Natasha wanted her big day to be as low-key and hassle-free as humanly possible. The couple decided to have both their wedding and reception at a local restaurant based on the referral of one of Natasha's coworkers. "I wasn't even going to have a ceremony at all but we decided to do something small for our mothers," explains Natasha. There were no bridal party, no huge floral arrangements or most of the other bells and whistles of a typical bridal affair for two young professionals but the couple had more than enough love and laughter for a lifetime of happiness." --Essence.com


     What kind of wedding do you want, my future savvy sonsie bride? Does it matter if you have it outdoors or indoors? In a church, in a restaurant? For those that have already been brides: How did the location play a part in your special day?

For more on Natasha and Kevin's story visit: Essence.com

The Search for Inspiration

Photo Credit: Parris Whittingham Photography

     Yesterday, I was looking for bridal inspiration, which in turn revives my heart towards romance and towards the hopeful yet sometimes arduous journey of love. Mind you, I'm not yet getting married, not yet engaged, and here's the kicker: I don't even have a boyfriend. I know. Shocking.

     So why would I start a blog that is dedicated to savvy sonsie brides? Well, Just yesterday, I tried to find wedding images to inspire a good friend of mine. This friend, like many girlfriends I have, is a full figured young lady in her early 30s, and does not fit the stereotypical display of beauty we are bombarded with in the media and even here in our lovely Southern California culture. But she is beautiful. I was frustrated that I could not find an array of resources and pictures specifically depicting these types of women.

Photo Credit: Parris Whittingham Photography

     After a few hours of frustration, I figured it was time to start a blog of my own. I wanted to hear stories and see beautiful wedding photography of women that looked more like me, curvy (in small ways and not so small ways) and no longer in their twenties.

     This blog will be dedicated to the stories and insights of beautiful brides of different shapes and sizes over the age of 30.


     If you are a bride that inhabits the themes of this blog, or have been a bride recently, we'd love to hear your story and see the visible interpretation of your love through photos.

     So, to my curvy girls over 30: Let's get inspired!

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Photo Credit: Parris Whittingham Photography

Bride: Kisha Cameron (Wedding Age: 34)

Groom: Eric Dingle (Wedding Age: 38)

For more on their beautiful story, go to: Essence.com