Part 5 - The Wait Is Worth It

     Back in February of this year, Shannessy wrote this to me:

     Patrice,  I just can't accentuate enough... waiting for His best... man, I read all the books, but to EXPERIENCE it for real... it truly DOES exist.  Not like the movies, but the fairy tale of real life is EVEN BETTER when you put together 2 people the Lord designed to be together, who both have open, teachable hearts and are willing and excited to journey into the wild, wild world of earthly FOREVER-NESS.   

WAIT ;) 

     I feel like some of you ladies, especially over the age of 30, needed to hear that bit of encouragement.

     It's been lovely to share Shannessy's exuberance and passion for God and life through her love story, this past year. I know that it is her heart as well as mine to see God bring you into a tailored made romance as well!

     Thank you, Shannessy for taking the time to share with us and may you continue to experience wedded bliss! And now I hear there's a precious baby on the way! AHHH!! Such a blessing!!

     If you've missed any part of Shannessy's love story, go here: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, and Part 4

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     And here we go ladies, the last part of Shannessy's story series. Enjoy!

     My final question to Shannessy is in bold while Shannessy's honest answer is in italics.

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     And lastly, from your heart, what do you want to say to all of those amazing ladies in

waiting?

     Just do it. WAIT. I had pressure all the time, people would remind me my clock is ticking and I should quit being too picky. That my looks would fade; and they told me that I would never find a man who had never been married or who didn’t have kids… and to think that he would be a man who followed the Lord completely? Yes, they ALL thought I was out of my mind. But I KNEW.

     God wouldn’t let me down. And as I stood on that altar 10.16.10 at 4-ish in the afternoon, I was in HEAVEN… no fears, no cold feet, just BLISS. My waiting had brought HIM.

     Girls, God WILL bring you your man. He really, really will! Now, stay close to God and He will do what He needs to do in you to get you ready. I had to do a little counseling and seek healing to really let Shane into my heart; I made a CHOICE because I didn’t want to let this one get away. I sought counsel from older and wiser women.

     Just WAIT dear hearts. That is the best and most simple advice I can give. And as one who waited until age 36, I feel I have some authority. Godly men are out there. 

     Just BELIEVE.

Part 4 - The Wait Is Worth It

     It's amazing how quickly time passes! I've been devoting a great deal of time to my personal blog: Puerility Vol. 1 and other professional ventures. But I have not forgotten about you dear readers! Thank you for your patience!

     Without further ado, here is Part 4 of Shannessy's amazing love story!

     But let's not forget some backstory: 

     I had the pleasure of meeting Shannessy, years ago in Southern California while she was still single. To this day, I'm so honored that our paths crossed, if even for a short time. Her romance story stirs excitement and dreams within me. I hope it will do the same for you!  


     My questions to Shannessy are in bold, while Shannessy's beautifully honest answers are in italics.



1. What are 3 key things to remember for a bride approaching her own wedding day?

      1. Take a break about halfway through the planning and get away with your man. No wedding talk, NOTHING. Just be together. BE. Return to why your are marrying this person. Shut off the phone, shut down the computer, and get away ;)


      2. Do your best to ‘let go and let God’. His plans for your special day are better than yours. No use fretting when something you want doesn’t work out. It means He has something better. Have a positive friend who will help you see the bright side, remind you of this fact, yet comfort you at the same time in your disappointment.


      3. Stay connected with your friends. It is a busy time but don’t seclude yourself too much. Enjoy the excitement of the engagement season as you can’t get it back and it flies by FAST! Others want to celebrate and be excited with you too!

2. What can women do that are in "waiting" for God's best? What are some practical things they
can walk out?

      Remember that it’s not in your control. As I mentioned before, I did EVERYTHING I could to ‘make’ God bring me a husband. Fast, pray, drink wine/eat chocolate and cry and get mad… I fully remember the moment when I realized there was NOTHING I could do… standing in front of a mirror on my 35th birthday in 2009… it hit me like a ton of bricks… He gently spoke to my heart… I had to surrender in that moment fully knowing there was NOTHING I could do to bring that husband forth. I knew it in my head, but my heart and will refused to give in to that reality. It made me sad, yet brought me such great peace. And what do you know? A few months later I met Shane…

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     Part 5 of Shannessy's love story, which is also the conclusion of her featured love story, along with her special words of encouragement to you readers will be coming soon! Yes, yes, I know. "Soon" may be a bit relative, but I assure it will be coming :)

Love You!

Part 3 - The Wait Is Worth It

      

     Welcome to our blog site! This is a place for you to bask in the beauty of romance, the miracle of a man and woman finding one another in what may seem to be a neverending lonely world. 

      For a moment, put away your cynicsm and your doubts about marriage and romance. And allow yourself to dream, not just for everyone else, but for yourself. Yes, I believe there is a distinct and beautiful romance that is being planned in heaven just for you.

     If you're brand new to our blog, I recommend you reading "Parts 1 and 2" to be completely caught up.  As I mentioned, in the previous posts, I had the pleasure of meeting Shannessy, years ago in Southern California while she was still single. To this day, I'm so honored that our paths crossed, if even for a short time. Her romance story evokes hope within me, and I hope it does the same for you!

     My questions to Shannessy are in bold, while Shannessy's beautifully honest answers are in italics.

    And now, I present to you "Part 3" in our series:

"The Wait Is Worth It"

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      What is the very first thing a bride-to-be should tackle in planning her wedding?

     Ask for help. ;) BTW, I HIGHLY recommend every couple KNOW and have worked through any kinks prior to engagement. When the planning begins, there is little time, or patience to deal with heart issues that could have been addressed earlier. Christians seem to get married FAST –ours in 3 months – and that entire time is WEDDING PLANNING FILLED. And I loved it. ;) But for sure didn’t want it to last one day longer!

     Technical details; church and reception venue first, this is how we determined our date since we didn’t care when (except SOON). I also have a friend who is a wedding planner so I hired her for a very inexpensive rate. If you can swing it, I HIGHLY recommend it. My mom and sisters were unable to offer much help and it takes a very special friend to give of time and emotional energy to help you. If you hire someone who is reliable and responsible it takes a lot of the pressure off.

     Who were you top 3 favorite Vendors (Photographers, Catering, Location, etc.) of your wedding day?

     1. The wedding planner. Even if you don’t hire a planner to actually help you PLAN the wedding, at the very least hiring someone to take care of the details of the day is PRICELESS. Then you can simply enjoy the day – and so can your family and friends. She was hands-down worth her weight in gold. Doing the finishing touches of decorating, making sure everyone was doing what they were supposed to do, keeping in contact with all the vendors, making sure I was stress-less. Because of her, I could fully enjoy the whole day. ;)

     2. Videographer – I almost didn’t hire one due to budget but after so many women said they watch their video more than look at the photos, I did it. I just hired a less expensive photographer. He did an amazing job and our day is now permanently on film. To be able watch something that was such an emotional blur later is a wonderful thing. We still cry when we watch it!

     3. Reception hall – beautiful location, great staff, great view – we loved the woman we worked with… the decorations were AMAZING, a gift from God. A friend of a friend knew some rich people whose daughter was recently married; they let us borrow amazing things and wouldn’t take a penny. ;) I felt like a princess ;)

     What was your favorite part of your wedding day?

     Marrying the man of my dreams. Our first moment… (we took pics beforehand to avoid any stress after our vows were taken. Therefore earlier in the day I walked down the aisle to him and him alone. ;)… and of course, that LONG AWAITED FIRST KISS! I can tell you that was honestly the best and most exciting day of my life. ;)

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     Shannessy! We love hearing about the details of your romance story and wedding.

     Keep a look out for Part 4 of Shannessy and Shane's beautiful romance story. There's only 2 more parts left! 

     And then, after concluding our series with Shannessy, I get to introduce you to a few more brides and their amazing journeys in love. I can't wait!

     Until we meet again. Be blessed and encouraged. You are already loved greatly. And you are in our prayers!

Part 2 - The Wait Is Worth It

      I've missed you! Love has been working steadily in my life. And I know that you are on your way to being ready for love as well. 


     If you're a brand new reader of this blog, I recommend you reading "Part 1" to be completely in the loop. As I mentioned, in the previous post, I had the pleasure of meeting Shannessy in Southern California while she was still single. Little did I know, that just a few years later, God would surprise her with the ultimate romance story!


     My questions to Shannessy are in bold, while Shannessy's beautifully honest answers are in italics.


     Without further ado, I present to you "Part 2" in our series:

"The Wait Is Worth It".

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     Did you feel pressure from family or society, to marry earlier in your life? If so, how did you deal with the pressure?

     UGH- YES!!!! ALL THE FRIGGING TIME! You know, grace is what got me through. And a whole lotta FAITH. Although I had those moments where I definitely cried and wondered and was a bit mad with God. ;) I dealt with the pressure through prayer, Scripture – and – well, occasionally fasting/praying for my husband. Yes, a bit performance-based – but God gave me the grace to do it. There was a group of us that fasted/prayed for one week for the Lord to bring us our husbands in May 2008. All but 1 of us are now married… ;)

     Have you always had the desire to get married? Why or Why not?

     Yes – and no. Before Christ I was SCARED SCARED SCARED of getting married. It seemed like a huge commitment; I saw it as a piece of paper and expensive party. After becoming a Christian and going through healing, I came to see how BEAUTIFUL marriage is. Seriously, I can’t believe how great it is. The devil sure had me fooled for a LONG time. When you wait for God’s best it is just – PERFECT – with all its imperfections :) I married a man with a servant’s heart and because he submits to God and purposes in his heart to love me the way Christ loves the church, even the challenging times are good ;)

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     Don't you just love Shannessy's realness! I feel a second wind of inspiration as I wait for my own God appointed romance story.

     Part 3 will be coming soon! So far, we've talked about the wonderful details of God's romance story with Shannessy. Next we will hear from Shannessy about her wedding season. We will learn how to keep our wits about us, while trying to plan a wedding and at the same time enjoying the season of love that we inherit.

     Until the next time. Your future romance story will be in our prayers!

Part 1 - The Wait Is Worth It

     

      Happy Valentine's Day!! It's about 11 PM, on the West Coast. Only one hour left of Valentine's Day.

    Although Valentine's Day may be over in your neck of the woods, or you may simply feel as though Valentine's Day is a commercialized, "Hallmark" created holiday,  nevertheless, there's always time to celebrate love.

     As promised, we are now beginning our 5-part series titled...

The Wait Is Worth It

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     I had the pleasure of meeting Shannessy, years ago, face to face as she was on an amazing God journey that brought her to California for a short period of time. Little did I know, how I would be inspired by her romance journey years later.

     I'm happy to share with you part one of this series:

1. Hi Shannessy,  I'd love for you to briefly share your journey of romance before you got married:
     

     First off, I will start with my personal romance background (I find it important to who I am and why we dated the way we did…)

     I didn't become a Christian until age 30; so prior to my transformation, I was SUCH a worldly girl. I did it the way everyone else did, that’s all I knew. I had many boyfriends, usually long term. Except for the time I dated 5 men at once. Bad idea; I was a busy girl- but at the time I felt cool! ;) In all my long term relationships we had sex… I didn’t ‘sleep around’ by any means, but if I found myself with a ‘keeper’ we definitely slept together. I didn’t know any different; I didn’t know God’s ways.

     Therefore, I followed the world and what everyone else did. If we ‘loved’ each other, it was okay. But it never was. I knew deep down something was wrong. Therefore I learned from an early age (eh hem, 16) that sex=love, love=sex. SO WRONG!

     I had an encounter with God shortly after age 30 that transformed me IMMEDIATELY. After this, I quit dating altogether to focus on Jesus. I had waited 30 years for the answer to LIFE, and after I found it, I had a lot of catching up to do. I went on a ‘man fast’ for a couple of years to focus on the Lord, and after that was over, God still kept me veiled. I went on a handful of Christian ‘dates’while waiting for Shane… but I was soooooooooo picky… waiting for God’s best for me.

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      I first met Shane through a mutual friend at a young adult worship service about 2 years before we started dating. I don’t remember it, he does. ;) God was still working in him (and me, but

especially him).

     A couple of years later after his own encounter with the Lord, (although Shane had given his life to Christ in Junior High, he backslid in college. God grabbed ahold of him mightily during the time period between when we were first introduced and this next segment).

     Shane joined a men’s Bible study in which my male 30-something single friends had started. They began asking Shane along to our social events, and within a couple of months we had crushes on each other. Alas, God was about to send me out on an adventure (a 3-month cross country journey) so our contact was mainly via telephone. HOURS of conversations. After those 3 months, God decided to bring me home to Iowa. Shane flew out to Maryland to drive back with me. Our first date was a 5-day road trip. ;)

     Both living in the same town, we began dating. I had many fears, especially commitment, and God lovingly brought me an AMAZING female mentor who also happened to be an intimacy counselor. PERFECTO! While dating Shane I also was able to get to the root of so many issues in my heart since childhood that stopped me from fully letting go and giving my heart to another.  God’s lovingkindness… coupled together with a patient man…

     Patrice, our first kiss was on our wedding day. We made that choice early on in our relationship – because we felt the Lord ask us to WAIT. We had both been sexually active before God got ahold of us; we had both repented and changed our ways. However, we knew firsthand what a slippery slope it is to head down a path of a physical relationship – even kissing… In fact, I hadn’t kissed a man in 6 years until Shane. ;) REDEMPTION! And I have to tell you, although I know it’s not the right path for everyone, it was the most awesome (and CHALLENGING) path for us. That first kiss on the altar was – UTTERLY AMAZING.

     If God gives you the grace, I highly recommend it ;) Most people thought we were crazy but I think we touched heaven in that moment. 

2. What drew you to your husband? And how did you know you wanted to spend the rest of your
life with him?

     Shane is soooooooo fun-loving, laid back, and his chivalry! Oh my! I am losing all my muscle tone because I never get to open doors anymore! ;) I LOVE IT! Shane, from day one, made me feel special and cherished. One of the first things I noticed about him was his generous heart, always ready to give, whether it be money, time, tears, prayer… doesn’t matter, he will GIVE with joy. And his hugs ROCKED my world!

     The next part is simple and yet so complex. I will say, you do JUST KNOW. I was soooooo independent, and loved to do things on my own – whether it be travel, work out, lounging – you name it. I was perfectly happy. But when Shane entered my life, I didn’t want to do ANYTHING without him. It just wasn’t fun anymore. He was my BEST FRIEND. That had NEVER happened to me in a relationship; not even with my best female friends. I knew in my core I couldn’t do life without this man by my side. Here he finally was, my counterpart. ;)

     Now, the fun part. I told you I was scared and a commitment-phobe, right? So of course I put LOTS of prayer into this relationship. About 2 months into dating we went on a silent retreat together. I brought watercolors, pastels, and paper. Prophetic art was to be my journaling for the weekend… what came out was a very special design (you have to see it, can’t explain it) and when I asked God what it meant, he spoke straight to my heart and said that Shane was my husband. Gulp. Scared, I kept it to myself and dated the back of the paper. Didn’t tell anyone and hid it away – even managed to forget about it after many months. (yes, even when God speaks clearly we still hide from it at times, and doubt, don’t we? J) Fast forward to us getting engaged in July, wanting to get married within 3 months, and having some challenge finding an open church and reception venue on the same date. One day, I found out the church I loved had only one open date and a venue we could afford had the same date- 10/16. It appeared we had our date! I was walking down the stairs and said to God “Why October 16? That’s interesting!” He told me to dig out that watercolor – I did – and as it turned out our wedding date was EXACTLY one year after God told me Shane was my husband. ;) Sweet confirmation, eh?

He didn’t have to do that! ;)

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     That was only Part 1! Can you believe all the incredible details?? I'm definitely looking forward to sharing more of Shannessy's romance journey with you all. And for all you ladies in waiting, you are in our prayers. Until the next time...

Stay Tuned, for Part 2...When Shannessy tackles my next question...

3. Did you feel pressure from family or society, to marry earlier in your life? If so, how did you deal with the pressure?...

New Series!!

   

     I'm excited to share with you some of the new happenings regarding this blog in 2011.

     On Valentine's Day, 2011, I'll be starting a 5-part series on a special bride's story. This unique bride beautifully shared her romance journey with me in detail. I was so moved and encouraged by her love story, that while reading it, I began to weep.

     And now, she's allowing me to share it with all of you.

     Specifically for you, my blog readers, she's taken the time to answer some of my heartfelt questions regarding her relationship, her season of waiting, and her wedding day itself.  In the weeks to come, you'll see that this new bride answered my questions with boldness and honesty.

     So spread the word!

     I hope you'll join me on Valentines' Day, to read Part 1 of... 

"The Wait Is Worth It"