Although Valentine's Day may be over in your neck of the woods, or you may simply feel as though Valentine's Day is a commercialized, "Hallmark" created holiday, nevertheless, there's always time to celebrate love.
As promised, we are now beginning our 5-part series titled...
The Wait Is Worth It
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I'm happy to share with you part one of this series:
1. Hi Shannessy, I'd love for you to briefly share your journey of romance before you got married:
First off, I will start with my personal romance background (I find it important to who I am and why we dated the way we did…)
I didn't become a Christian until age 30; so prior to my transformation, I was SUCH a worldly girl. I did it the way everyone else did, that’s all I knew. I had many boyfriends, usually long term. Except for the time I dated 5 men at once. Bad idea; I was a busy girl- but at the time I felt cool! ;) In all my long term relationships we had sex… I didn’t ‘sleep around’ by any means, but if I found myself with a ‘keeper’ we definitely slept together. I didn’t know any different; I didn’t know God’s ways.
Therefore, I followed the world and what everyone else did. If we ‘loved’ each other, it was okay. But it never was. I knew deep down something was wrong. Therefore I learned from an early age (eh hem, 16) that sex=love, love=sex. SO WRONG!
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I first met Shane through a mutual friend at a young adult worship service about 2 years before we started dating. I don’t remember it, he does. ;) God was still working in him (and me, but
especially him).
A couple of years later after his own encounter with the Lord, (although Shane had given his life to Christ in Junior High, he backslid in college. God grabbed ahold of him mightily during the time period between when we were first introduced and this next segment).
Shane joined a men’s Bible study in which my male 30-something single friends had started. They began asking Shane along to our social events, and within a couple of months we had crushes on each other. Alas, God was about to send me out on an adventure (a 3-month cross country journey) so our contact was mainly via telephone. HOURS of conversations. After those 3 months, God decided to bring me home to Iowa. Shane flew out to Maryland to drive back with me. Our first date was a 5-day road trip. ;)
Both living in the same town, we began dating. I had many fears, especially commitment, and God lovingly brought me an AMAZING female mentor who also happened to be an intimacy counselor. PERFECTO! While dating Shane I also was able to get to the root of so many issues in my heart since childhood that stopped me from fully letting go and giving my heart to another. God’s lovingkindness… coupled together with a patient man…
Patrice, our first kiss was on our wedding day. We made that choice early on in our relationship – because we felt the Lord ask us to WAIT. We had both been sexually active before God got ahold of us; we had both repented and changed our ways. However, we knew firsthand what a slippery slope it is to head down a path of a physical relationship – even kissing… In fact, I hadn’t kissed a man in 6 years until Shane. ;) REDEMPTION! And I have to tell you, although I know it’s not the right path for everyone, it was the most awesome (and CHALLENGING) path for us. That first kiss on the altar was – UTTERLY AMAZING.
2. What drew you to your husband? And how did you know you wanted to spend the rest of your
life with him?
Shane is soooooooo fun-loving, laid back, and his chivalry! Oh my! I am losing all my muscle tone because I never get to open doors anymore! ;) I LOVE IT! Shane, from day one, made me feel special and cherished. One of the first things I noticed about him was his generous heart, always ready to give, whether it be money, time, tears, prayer… doesn’t matter, he will GIVE with joy. And his hugs ROCKED my world!
The next part is simple and yet so complex. I will say, you do JUST KNOW. I was soooooo independent, and loved to do things on my own – whether it be travel, work out, lounging – you name it. I was perfectly happy. But when Shane entered my life, I didn’t want to do ANYTHING without him. It just wasn’t fun anymore. He was my BEST FRIEND. That had NEVER happened to me in a relationship; not even with my best female friends. I knew in my core I couldn’t do life without this man by my side. Here he finally was, my counterpart. ;)
Now, the fun part. I told you I was scared and a commitment-phobe, right? So of course I put LOTS of prayer into this relationship. About 2 months into dating we went on a silent retreat together. I brought watercolors, pastels, and paper. Prophetic art was to be my journaling for the weekend… what came out was a very special design (you have to see it, can’t explain it) and when I asked God what it meant, he spoke straight to my heart and said that Shane was my husband. Gulp. Scared, I kept it to myself and dated the back of the paper. Didn’t tell anyone and hid it away – even managed to forget about it after many months. (yes, even when God speaks clearly we still hide from it at times, and doubt, don’t we? J) Fast forward to us getting engaged in July, wanting to get married within 3 months, and having some challenge finding an open church and reception venue on the same date. One day, I found out the church I loved had only one open date and a venue we could afford had the same date- 10/16. It appeared we had our date! I was walking down the stairs and said to God “Why October 16? That’s interesting!” He told me to dig out that watercolor – I did – and as it turned out our wedding date was EXACTLY one year after God told me Shane was my husband. ;) Sweet confirmation, eh?
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That was only Part 1! Can you believe all the incredible details?? I'm definitely looking forward to sharing more of Shannessy's romance journey with you all. And for all you ladies in waiting, you are in our prayers. Until the next time...
Stay Tuned, for Part 2...When Shannessy tackles my next question...
3. Did you feel pressure from family or society, to marry earlier in your life? If so, how did you deal with the pressure?...
